Beta applications open

Your meals,
on the record.

CHUD is a camera-first meal log. Snap what you're eating, get a verdict stamped on it, and let the week build its case against you. Affectionately.

Apply for beta access See how it works

iOS beta · limited spots while we finish hardening the backend

[ MEAL PHOTO ]

4:20 PM TAKEOUT

GUILTY

The loop

Capture. Get a verdict. Get reported on.

No counting, no logging macros by hand. Point your camera at the evidence and let CHUD do the paperwork.

STEP 1

Capture the meal

Open the app, take a photo or pull one from your gallery. Add a note if you want. That's the whole input.

STEP 2

Receive your verdict

CHUD reads the evidence — portion, presentation, timing, pattern — and stamps it. Not a calorie count. A verdict.

STEP 3

Face the weekly report

Every completed week becomes a sealed case file: accomplishments, evidence meals, and the patterns you'll deny later.

Read before applying

What CHUD is, and isn't

This matters more than it sounds like it should. CHUD has a strict line it doesn't cross.

CHUD will

Roast your 1am delivery order
Notice you've ordered the same thing four times this week
Call out a portion size as "absurd" with a straight face
Write you a weekly report that reads like a case file
Treat the whole thing as a bit, always

CHUD won't

Comment on body size or weight
Moralize about calories
Give medical or nutrition advice
Mock unfamiliar foods or cultures
Make you feel bad about being a person who eats

Beta access

Apply to be a beta tester

We're letting people in gradually while we finish hardening things behind the scenes. Tell us a bit about yourself and we'll follow up by email.

Beta tester application

Takes about a minute. We read every one of these ourselves.

FORM REF: BETA-APP

First name

Last name

Platform

Android support is on the way — apply now and we'll reach out when it's ready.

Instagram handle

We post updates there first. Make sure you're following @thechudapp.

Why do you want in?

I understand this is an early beta — things may break, and CHUD will have opinions about my meals. I have read the Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.

On the record

From the field.

Real meals. Real verdicts. Follow along at @thechudapp.

Evidence log — @thechudapp View on Instagram

Questions

Frequently asked

Is this a diet or weight-loss app?

No. CHUD doesn't track calories, weight, or body metrics. It reads the evidence — patterns, presentation, chaos — and renders a verdict. Not a health assessment.

What platforms is the beta on?

iOS first. We're tracking Android interest through this form — tell us your platform when you apply.

What happens after I apply?

We review applications and follow up by email as we open up new spots. We're moving carefully while we finish hardening the backend, so it may take a bit.

Is my data safe?

Meal photos and account data are stored securely and used only to run the app's core features. We're not selling your meals to anyone — they're not that interesting. Yet.

Will CHUD body-shame me?

No, and this is non-negotiable for us. CHUD roasts choices, patterns, and chaos — never bodies, weight, or health status. If it ever crosses that line, that's a bug, not a feature.